This blog features posted written by Christine Murray and updates related to her book, Triumph Over Abuse: Healing, Recovery, and Purpose after an Abusive Relationship.
Find the Right Support
Along the journey of healing from past abuse, there are people who can help you, but also others who can hinder your progress. Surround yourself with the right kind of support, and learn to set boundaries with those who may get in the way of your progress.
#domesticviolence #overcomingabuse #mentalhealth #triumphoverabuse
Whether abuse occurs during or after an intimate relationship ends, it is never the victim's fault. Abuse is always the responsibility of the one who is perpetrating it.
Quote Source: Triumph Over Abuse book, p. 130.
In Chapter 4 of Triumph Over Abuse, I write in detail about the potential value of educating yourself about abuse as part of the recovery process. In our See the Triumph research, we've heard from many survivors how important gaining new knowledge and understanding about the dynamics of abuse was to understanding their past experiences.
There are many useful tools available for learning about abusive relationships, including books, websites, online and in-person workshops, and talking with other survivors and professionals. If you're on the journey of healing from past abuse, take time to map out a plan that will work for you.
One resource that may offer a good starting point is the Collections section of our See the Triumph website, which has resources and blog posts organized by different topics.
Check out our newest See the Triumph #SurvivorsTriumphing video! This time, we're featuring Quasona Oliver, who is sure to inspire you with her insights on how advocacy work was so key to her healing journey.
Would you like to be featured in an upcoming #SurvivorsTriumphing video? If so, please send me a message through the Contact Us page to connect!
Prioritize Your Peace
Along the journey of recovering from past abuse, it is important to make your peace a priority. Make choices to practice self-care, honor your boundaries in relationships with others, and honor the big and small steps you take toward healing.
Taking Back Control of Your Mind
One of my favorite chapters to write in Triumph Over Abuse was Chapter 5, Taking Back Control of your Mind. The mind control tactics that many abusers use to gain and maintain power of their partners are one of the lesser known aspects of abusive relationships. And yet, this aspect abuse can have a powerful influence on survivors' recovery processes.
Learning to identify potentially negative thought patterns, correct faulty belief systems that hinder your progress, and build new, growth-promoting belief systems all can be critical parts of healing from past abuse.
For many survivors, taking back control of their minds is a significant step toward healing. This is a process, however, and not just a one-time event. Building more positive, empowering thinking patterns and underlying belief systems takes time, but being intentional in this area can be extremely valuable in the overall healing journey.
Over the years, our See the Triumph team has created a number of free resources that we make available to survivors and professionals who work with survivors. All of these resources can be requested through forms on the See the Triumph website.
You can learn more about each resource and find out how to request them at the following links:
All of these resources are based on our See the Triumph research and are designed to offer practical tools to support survivors in their journey of recovering from past abuse.
Note: This post is cross-posted from this See the Triumph blog post.
Check out the videos of the speakers from the Triumph Over Abuse Virtual Launch Event!
I was so grateful for the wonderful turnout at last week's virtual book launch event for Triumph Over Abuse! If you missed the event or would like to re-listen to the talks from any of the speakers, the videos are now available for viewing on Facebook and YouTube playlists.
I'll also post all of the videos below so you can see them all together!
First, Dr. Allison Crowe shared a bit about the history of our See the Triumph campaign:
Next, we heard from Heather Evans, who is the Editor at Routledge Mental Health, who publised the book:
The next speaker was Catherine Johnson, who is the Director of the Guilford County Family Justice Center, where I'll be donating 20% of my author's royalties from the book:
After that, Dr. Shanita Brown shared tips for how people can support a loved one who is facing the journey of recovering from past abuse:
And finally, I shared some of my own reflections on the book, including insights into how survivors of abuse can overcome common misconceptions about abusive relationships & the recovery process:
Overall, I was so thankful for the opportunity to celebrate the launch of Triumph Over Abuse. Thanks to all who came to the live program, as well as to those who are checking out these videos at a later time!
Learn how the Triumph Over Abuse book is supporting the Guilford County Family Justice Center
I believe strongly in supporting local organizations that do the hard work every day to support victims and survivors of abuse. I've been honored to be part of my own community's (Greensboro/Guilford County, North Carolina) efforts to build and sustain a Family Justice Center, which is known as a "one-stop shop" support victims and survivors of abuse. In our community, the Guilford County Family Justice Center operates two locations in the county and serves victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and elder abuse. The first location opened in Greensboro in 2015, followed by the second location in High Point in 2018.
Family Justice Centers are based on a national model that woks to bring together many different types of professionals and community organizations in a way that makes it as easy as possible for victims and survivors to get the support they need. I've seen firsthand how this model has transformed our community's efforts to prevent and respond to interpersonal violence.
Because resources like Family Justice Centers are so important to me, I've committed to donating 20% of my author royalties from sales of Triumph Over Abuse to the Guilford County Family Justice Center.
If you're interested in learning more about the Guilford County Family Justice Center and how victim service resources help start survivors on the path toward recovery from abuse, be sure to come to our virtual book launch event on January 15th at noon EST. Catherine Johnson, the Center's Director, will be one of the featured speakers at the event. To learn more, check out the Facebook event page or register for free via Eventbrite!
I was so excited when I found out the timing that Triumph Over Abuse would be published on December 30th. Right before the New Year started, this timing seemed perfect to me since one of my most important goals for writing this book was to provide hope and inspiration to help survivors of past abuse begin to dream again and build hope for a more positive future.
Whether or not you're a fan of New Year's resolutions like I am, the start of a new year offers a great opportunity for envisioning a more positive future, whatever that means to you. As 2021 gets started today, take some time for self-reflection, dreaming, and even possibly starting to plan to put your dreams into action.
The quote featured here, "Start with your hopes and dreams, and then start fleshing those out and mapping out a plan to turn them into achievable goals," comes from p. 143 in Chapter 9, "Building a Strong Foundation for Your Finances and Career," in Triumph Over Abuse.